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Wedding Announcement

Many people who read this blog know this stuff already, but I've never talked about it directly.  Well, times have changed.  The Supreme Court made its earth-shattering ruling.  The EEOC made another one.  So here I am.

For those of you who don't know, Darwin McClary and I are getting married in October.  Whoo!  Darwin manages a village near Wherever (he does what everyone thinks the mayor does), and we've been seeing each other for quite a while now.  Unfortunately, Michigan law wouldn't let us get married, and other laws--or lack of them--allowed businesses and government agencies to fire employees based on sexual orientation.  Now, however, the laws have changed.  You can marry who you want and the EEOC has ruled it's illegal to fire someone based on their choice of romantic partner.  So we can get married!  We're so happy about this.

I've been posting about it elsewhere, and here I'm playing catch-up.

Step 1 to the Great Grand Wedding: set a date.

Darwin and I talked about this quite a while ago.  If SCOTUS ruled in our favor, when would we get married?  And how?  I flatly refused to elope or run to the courthouse.  "It's like we're sneaking away to get married because we're ashamed of it," I said.  "I'm not doing that.  I'm inviting everyone I can afford and standing up to get married in a traditional American wedding BECAUSE I CAN. It's part wedding and part political statement.  If we sneak down to the courthouse, we're denigrating decades of fighting."  And so we're having a traditional American wedding.

But when?  If we had been sure of SCOTUS, we would have set a date for the current summer, but we weren't sure, and we didn't want to make deposits and send out invitations, only to have the Court flatten us.  But SCOTUS ruled in late June, too late for us to get married this summer.  On top of it all, my sister announced she was getting married in July of 2016--smack in the middle of summer. While this was great news, it made it difficult for us.  If we chose summer of 2016 for our own wedding, everyone in my family would either be getting ready for or recovering from her wedding.

Also, summer of 2016 would mean we WOULDN'T be married for a long time.

And so we decided to get married in late October.  We'd get the benefit of being married in 2015 (especially medical benefits) and we'd have it completed before my sister's started up.  A fall wedding!

Here we go . . .

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Comments

( 16 comments — Leave a comment )
dancinghorse
Jul. 27th, 2015 05:48 am (UTC)
YAY! Long lines of conga rats and happies for you both.
jimhines
Jul. 27th, 2015 12:08 pm (UTC)
Congratulations!
jordan179
Jul. 27th, 2015 12:34 pm (UTC)
Congratulations! :)
davidpv
Jul. 27th, 2015 12:38 pm (UTC)
Congratulations!

After 21 years and two kids, we're going the courthouse route later next month, just before school starts!

One word of caution, the EEOC ruling only applies to federal workers. From LLDEF:

"The decision will have two major effects. First, it authoritatively recognizes that federal workers mistreated because of their sexual orientation have a claim under Title VII. Second, for other workers, it will cause courts to consider carefully the logic articulated in this ruling that sex discrimination happens when women, but not men, are mistreated due to their attraction to women, and vice versa."

So, states which do not include sexual orientation in their non-discrimination statues, will still not go after employers who fire because of sexual orientation. You have to go to court and hope the courts take into consideration the EEOC ruling. One reason why they are trying to push an expanded ENDA in Congress. Not going to happen with a GOP-controlled.

Hopefully your employer/supervisor is not homophobic, as I don't think Michigan protects workers on the basis of sexual orientation.

Again, congratulations and best wishes!!

spiziks
Jul. 27th, 2015 05:27 pm (UTC)
I talked to the union, and they said the ruling applies to all workers, including teachers. The EEOC ruling doesn't apply to access to housing and education, but I'm not worried about those. The school district also sent out an district-wide notice to all staff to alert everyone that same-sex spouses were now covered under district benefits and they were opening a special window for open enrollment for such spouses. So I'm not worried. :)

marielaf
Jul. 27th, 2015 01:14 pm (UTC)
Huzzah! Woo-hoo! May you have many *more* years of (now legally recognized) happiness together!
alfreda89
Jul. 27th, 2015 01:39 pm (UTC)
Wishing you many years of joy together!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KlJM4UhbQ7A
gregmce
Jul. 27th, 2015 02:00 pm (UTC)
Hurrah!
suricattus
Jul. 27th, 2015 02:33 pm (UTC)
Mazel tov!

And autumn weddings are lovely - much less chance of everyone melting of heat exhaustion, and there's more energy for dancing.
sadbhyl
Jul. 27th, 2015 04:42 pm (UTC)
Excellent news! Congratulations to both of you! (And fall weddings are better. It won't be hot in your snazzy tuxes!)
deborahjross
Jul. 27th, 2015 05:13 pm (UTC)
Wishing you both much happiness! May marriage be everything you hoped, and more.
spiziks
Jul. 27th, 2015 05:28 pm (UTC)
Thank you, everyone!
realmjit
Jul. 27th, 2015 10:09 pm (UTC)
Hurray for legally designating your next-of-kin by filing *one* piece of paper!
desperance
Jul. 28th, 2015 12:14 am (UTC)
Whee!
delkytlar
Jul. 28th, 2015 05:40 pm (UTC)
Congratulations to you both! Wishing you much happiness in the planning and execution.

Late October is a great time for a wedding (as long as the weather cooperates). We were married on October 29th (Buddhist ceremony) and October 30th (Catholic ceremony). The weather on the 29th was lovely. The weather on the 30th was miserable - rain with high winds. Everyone told us that both conditions were omens for a long and happy marriage. 22 years later, they all seem to have been right.
iskander9999
Aug. 3rd, 2015 07:56 am (UTC)
Apologies for the very late congratulations, but you both deserve a great deal of happiness! All the best on the shared road ahead.
( 16 comments — Leave a comment )
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