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Today, Maksim (my youngest) said that he had become tired of single people complaining that Valentine's Day only reminded them that they're alone.  "If they're lonely," he said, "they should go out and find someone. Or go do something to keep their minds off being lonely instead of complaining."

I think he's right.

Every single year, the litany of people who tear their hair out over Valentine's Day seems to grow.  So, without further ado, we present Solutions to Valentine's Day Complaining!

"I'm single and alone, and seeing all this couples stuff for Valentine's Day makes me feel like a lonely and inadequate loser. I wish Valentine's Day would go away!"

Has complaining about being alone solved your problem?  I didn't think so.  If you're lonely, get off your ass and go places where you'll meet people.  YOU have to take the initiative.  No one is going to knock on your door--you have to do the knocking.  Number one thing?  Volunteer.  There are endless local charitable or political causes that need hands.  Number two?  Go to free lectures at your local library or museum, even if it's something you're not hugely interested in, and hang around afterward to chat.  And get off you damn phone.  It's easy to blow off people in a text.  Talk to people face-to-face and make an actual connection instead.  There are seven billion people in the world.  If you're lonely, it's because you've chosen not to meet people.

"Valentine's Day is so exclusionary.  It's all about couples!  I'm not lonely, but I'm single, so I'm excluded."

When the hell has that been true?  You exchanged valentines with all your classmates and your teacher in elementary school, and didn't have a giant orgy afterward, I hope.  Give valentines to your friends.  Buy a big box of those kid valentines and give them away to random strangers on the street with a "Happy Valentine's Day!"  Make a batch of valentine cookies and hand them out at work.  Hell, one of my students today gave me a cookie.  It was so nice of her!  Go out to eat by yourself while you read a romantic novel, tip the server huge, and write "Happy Valentine's!" on the receipt.  Find a way to include yourself in the festivities, and stop complaining.

"Valentine's Day is so commercial.  I'm sick of being told to buy cards or chocolates or diamonds or restaurant food.  I hate this holiday!"

Sorry--is someone holding a gun to your head and forcing you to empty your bank account?  If you're tired of TV ads, don't watch TV.  I use my DVR to skip commercials, myself.  Problem solved.  Don't want to buy a card?  Make one!  It'll be way cooler anyway.  Or write a letter expressing your feelings.  Or make a special meal.  (My god, I would be thrilled.)  Exercise a little free will.  You'll be surprised at how much you enjoy it.  Meanwhile, knock off the bitching.

"Restaurants are soooo crowded on Valentine's Day, it just wrecks the whole going out thing."

Then have a nice candle light meal at home.  If part of the point is not to cook, order food and put it in nice serving dishes.  Or, even better, go out the day before or the day after Valentine's Day.  Another trick?  Go to supper early, like at 5:00.  The restaurant is fully staffed in anticipation of the dinner rush, but all the other complainers are foolishly waiting to eat at 7:00.  Use a little thought and creativity instead of complaining!

"My boyfriend/girlfiend/husband/wife/sex robot never gets me anything for Valentine's Day.  He/She/It is the least romantic person in the world.  All the other boyfriends/girlfriends/husbands/wives/sex robots buy a romantic present, but I get nothing!"

Use your words, sweetie.  That's the second reason you have a mouth.  (Oh! Did he go there?  Yes, he did!)  Sit your b/g/h/w/sex robot down a week before the big day and say, "I want a romantic gift.  In my mind, it shows you care about me. It's due on Valentine's Day.  I will also give you one.  If you don't give me one, I will feel hurt and angry."  If your sex robot doesn't come through, you'll either need to leave the relationship, or decide if you can overlook this flaw.  And stop complaining about Valentine's Day.

"We get back so late after all the Valentine's Day stuff that we're too tired to have sex before we fall asleep."

Have sex before you go out.  Problem solved.

Happy Valentine's Day!


A couple more were called to my attention through this piece of work: http://www.cnn.com/2012/02/13/opinion/obeidallah-hate-valentines-day/

"I hate the pressure it puts on me to be romantic."

Oh, sweetie pie!  Open your mouth and use your words again.  "Honey, I want to do something fun and romantic for Valentine's Day, but I feel under the gun about this, and that makes it no fun and not at all romantic for me.  Do you have any ideas?"  Seriously.  If you can't use your words like a big person, your relationship probably won't last long anyway.  It's not the holiday that's causing the problem.  Stop complaining.

"I hate the colors."

So how do you survive the rest of the year? It's not like red, white, and pink are whisked away the other eleven months because you dislike them.  Maybe you can wear sunglasses, or write your legislator to demand a law getting rid of those three colors so they won't offend your delicate sensibilities, though I don't know what we'll do about all that white snow lying around, offending you. Do you complain about all the red at Christmas, too?  And the pink at Easter?  Just wondering.

"It programs couples into thinking February 14 is the only day they can express their feelings to one another."

Valentine's Day is the only day you can express your romantic feelings. And Christmas programs people to think it's the only day they can rejoice.  And Halloween programs people to think it's the only day they can be scared.  And Independence Day programs people to think it's is the only day they can feel patriotic.  And Memorial Day programs people to think it's the only day they can remember fallen soldiers.  Yeah.  If you're foolish enough to think Valentine's Day is the only day you can express romantic feelings for your partner, do your partner a favor and break up now.  And stop complaining.

(Yes, I'm aware that I'm complaining about people complaining.  It's Valentine's Day irony!)

Happy Valentine's Day!  Smooch it up!  Give the complainers something to complain about!



( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
Feb. 15th, 2017 12:48 am (UTC)
"If you're lonely, it's because you've chosen not to meet people."

Being lonely has nothing whatsoever to do with choosing not to meet people. I meet new people every week. I date. I have a social life.

I'm also currently single. Mostly I'm ok with that. Sometimes I'm lonely. Sometimes Valentines Day is an irritatingly overcommercialized reminder of that.

Telling me it's my own fault and I'm just not working hard enough for happiness? Yeah, sorry, but if someone said it to my face, I'd tell them they were being a presumptive ass.
Feb. 15th, 2017 01:42 am (UTC)
You aren't complaining about it and simultaneously doing nothing to alleviate the problem, though. Many people are happy being alone and don't use their singlehood to sabotage everyone else's enjoyment of a holiday.

A better way to put it might be "alone and lonely" instead of merely "alone." The advice columnist Dear Abby publishes letter after letter from people who complain they're lonely and alone, especially around the holidays, and her advice is always the same: get out there and meet people. Volunteering is a great way.
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )

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